just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
this boner is exhausting
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize