Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I just want nice things and good sex
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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