I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
