He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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