I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
