After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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