Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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