she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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