I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
