I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
