i wish starbucks made bloody marys
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Randomize
