In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm lost and stupid without you.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
