I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
