I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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