Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
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