i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize