omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
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