Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
sex in a hospital.. check
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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