I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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