see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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