its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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