Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
