I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
