i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
