he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
