sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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