I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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