mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
