everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Boobs are out for the taking
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
