You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Randomize
