Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
