im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize