Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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