We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I am available for nakedness
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize