ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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