We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
