Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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