I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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