there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
