Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
