He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
