why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
