I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
