Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
