It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
its not stalking. its research.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
