I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
