i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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