Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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