you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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