my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
