I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
