how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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