Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
