He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
