It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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