You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
