oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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