Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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