im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
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