i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
