If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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