sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
