I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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