my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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