ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
