It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
