He told me they were just razor bumps!
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
