Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Randomize
