I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
