Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
My brain says no but my pants say off.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
