Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
