Me. At least after what I've been through.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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