so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
