My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
