Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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