Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
