I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
