We won't sleep together?
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
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