problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
