I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
