the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
