We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Let's get the cat blown out
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
