I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
