sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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