I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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