We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
